Musings of the Smart Girl with Pink Hair and High Heels (Based On A True Story)

Her normally energetic disposition had morphed into a lethargic stupor. In pain, she couldn’t muster the strength to move. All she wanted was to give up and let the suffering end.

She was dear to me. I raised her and loved her as if she was my own. So when I witnessed the shift in her, I sprang into action. I took her to the doctor, worrying with every passing minute.

The prognosis wasn’t good.

Her kidneys were failing and couldn’t be saved. Toxins circulated through her blood and they were slowly poisoning her. Her organs were in the process of shutting down.

I stayed with her briefly and I whispered love into her ears. I begged for her life. I begged for the obvious reality to fade into a distant foggy mist. I begged for her to keep fighting. I begged for her to have just enough strength to win the battle for her fading life. I begged in vain.

She couldn’t even acknowledge me when I flooded her ears with my love. I gently touched her, wanted some slight reaction, but she barely moved. The shallow expansions of her lungs were her only visible movements.

Seeing her hanging on by a thread ignited the passion inside me to not give up. I couldn’t accept death was a viable option. I wouldn’t stop fighting, so how could she?

The next day I learned she hadn’t made it to the sunrise. She would be lost to me forever.

Pain pierced my heart and my resolve to stay strong shattered into trillions of pieces. I didn’t want to face the reality of the disaster that had transpired in only a few days, but, nonetheless, I couldn’t hold back my unending rush of tears. Broken apart, I didn’t know how I could ever move past the shock without going insane…

My mind was quick to deny the proof of what laid before me and that scared me the most. I had the ability to block out all the memories, act as if she could just be in another room. I could push the thoughts away and drift into a surreal world without pain.

But when I saw the shell of what was left of her, my mind couldn’t grasp what I glimpsed past the wall of tears. My eyes devoured every bit of her frail body, wishing it was just a cruel mirage, but I couldn’t deny the tangible proof. And then I did one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, say good-bye.