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Musings of the Smart Girl with Pink Hair and High Heels (Hopelessly Entangled)

My thoughts are consumed by him.

I enter a room and always look for him. Our eyes meet and I see a flash of something almost magical light his eyes. That spark only remains for mere seconds, but I notice it every time before it is smothered. And every time, that single look warms me to the core.

In the past, he would always drift my way. I loved the way he looked at me. I felt for the first time that I could be cherished. It was the first time I didn’t feel just like the ugly duckling drifting alone on the edge of the pond.

Time has passed and I still think of him constantly. But those special looks he would sometimes throw in my direction are coming fewer and fewer. He hasn’t drifted my way.

Doubts are overrunning my mind. I want so badly to hold on to my dreams of us, but they’re slipping. I’ve held onto this hope so long, only to be disappointed again.

Have I been crazy this whole time? Where those looks just a coincidental catch of light in his eyes? Did he ever think me pretty? Did he ever have thoughts of me when we weren’t in the same room?

It seems, once again, I may have overanalyzed and overreached. I picked up on nonexistent clues and more of them than I should have.

Even though the truth I thought I had known for so long is turning out to be a lie, I can’t keep myself from pretending that I'm not so completely wrong. I keep hoping he’ll look at me how he used to, or how I thought he used to.